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[ Nanami pondered where to have this conversation with Itadori. He decided that the best place would be in the park -- the scenery is relatively calming despite being on some alien planet. It would also allow the teenager to yell as much as he wanted without worrying too much about being overheard. He may be underestimating how loud Itadori can yell when he gets emotional, but anyway--

-- he sits on the bench and waits for the young man's arrival. ]

[ Itadori would never yell even once in his life. He's calm and collected boy. Ah, we're not kidding anyone here. It honestly depends on how Nanami approaches things that will influence how Itadori reacts. So far, it seems like Nanami is pretty good at handling the young man, but that wasn't always going to be the case.

But speaking of said young man, he comes up from behind the bench and places both of his hands on the back, leaning over it to give a bright smile. ]

Na~na~min!

[ At least he's in a very cheerful mood to start this out. One step in the right direction, hopefully. ]

[ He doesn't jump or start with the hands on his shoulder. He purposely continues to stare out at the park, like attempting to punish him by ignoring the action. However, he lets out a puff of air before tipping his head back slightly.

Ah, it is good to see him smiling and without worries. His chin lifts a little as he watches him carefully. To accept the burden of being a vessel, of being a jujutsu sorcerer, of the lives lost due to both... it should not have to be that way.

His expression does not betray his thoughts, but when does it ever. He only breathes out a small sigh before finally addressing him. ]

I believe I mentioned not to call me that, Itadori-kun. [ And that's all he has to say about that! ] I wish the setting was better but this is the best that can be done.

[ A beat. ] There is something important I wish to discuss with you. [ He makes a small gesture with his hand. ] Please take a seat.

[ Unfortunately for Nanami, Itadori does have worries. Ones that he's not talking about or bringing up. Maybe someone will notice or ask about it, but it's likely only two people here would have even a vague clue about what his worries could entail.

That aside, he just smiles when he's told not to call him that. It's better not to acknowledge it further because he's still planning to calm him that from here on out, because the complaints don't feel that firm. If Nanami truly wanted him to stop, he would agree to it.

He climbs over the back of the bench. Maybe it's not conventional, but it's easy enough for him to do. He settles in next to Nanami, legs spread just enough so that both hands can rest on the edge of the seat and lean forward a bit. From this position, his body is twisted just a little and he's looking over his shoulder a bit. Not exactly a position he should stay in too long, but for now it'll suffice until he shifts.

The words "important" throw up flags, though. He's Concerned about what Nanami might be wanting to talk to him about. ]

Now I'm very curious why you had to have a special setting for something "important."

[ they've had the time to sit back and get accustomed to being here together. it's a slight change with them living together in an apartment, rather than being neighbors in the dorm. but if you ask fushiguro it's... not as bad as he thought it would be. itadori is surprisingly considerate, moreso than he originally thought.

plus the food is good.

so now seems like a good time to bring this up ]

Itadori.

[ Beyond a small sigh, he doesn't comment on how Itadori climbs over the back of the bench to sit down. The point is that he still is seated which is best for this sort of talk. He keeps his expression even as the teenager wonders aloud at him why he had to choose a special setting. ]

I've had this talk with Fushiguro-kun, as well.

[ Nanami never says anything that does not need to be said. He does not want Itadori to feel as though he is being singled out in this matter. It can be something the two can commiserate about later, for lack of a better term. ]

Itadori-kun, you chose to become the vessel of Sukuna in order to protect others. You did this because you were the only one capable of doing so. And also, you have become a jujutsu sorcerer.

[ A weighted pause follows. He acknowledges everything that the young man has done for their society -- and how thankless it has been. Even if Itadori was not a vessel and a jujutsu sorcerer, it would still be a thankless existence.

"Thank you."

He closes his eyes. ]

You do not have to do anything more here.

[ At the first line, Itadori's shoulder tense up just a little bit. If he had talked to Itadori about the same thing, it had to be something pretty important... And something that related to home. It also meant it was something he didn't think would be a good idea to talk to them together... probably something that would make them rebel a bit and it'd be easier dealing with one boy at a time.

He was wondering where that line of thought was going mentioning everything at home and he just listens for the moment, having already learned that he should listen to the end and that Nanami would always fully explain himself. Granted, it wasn't always in the best circumstances, but at least here there wasn't a fight going on to distract him during his less.

And then comes the last bit. He almost feels like it's stronger than a choice... Nanami wouldn't be talking to him if it was just a simple choice and that he'd accept "I'll still help people." Which is exactly what Itadori plans to do. It's in his nature and he's sure Nanami knows it very well.

So, this was going to be an interesting conversation and he slowly inhales before letting his breath out slow, thinking of what he plans to say. ]

I don't, but I want to.

[ This is starting out well. ]

Edited 2021-02-18 07:33 (UTC)

[ all things considered, itadori really doesn't leave that strong of an impression on the place. the only place he will give his personal touches to is his own room and he'll keep it limited to there. otherwise, he makes sure to clean up and keep the common area tidy.

he's in the middle of wiping off the counter when he hears fushiguro's voice and looks up. ]

Yes?

[ Nanami breathes in and lets out a long sigh.

This is starting out well. ]

You don't have to "want" to do anything, Itadori-kun.

[ He feels the corners of his mouth turn down. Indeed, he remembers what the teenager said as they stood together in the morgue. The young man concerned about "proper deaths." Nanami is not certain what would be considered "proper" even in this world. Yet, he knows that Itadori will still try and will save lives just as often as lives may be lost while he is there.

Breathing in slow, he thinks there is no reason to carry that burden in this world as well. As an adult, as another jujutsu sorcerer, he thinks there is no reason to carry those wishes into another world. ]

The promises that you made were made in another world. Even if you do not carry them out here, you are not betraying anyone for doing so. Those things you told yourself to do were in our world, and so have no bearing here.

[ You do not have to want what you did there. You do not have to shackle yourself to a difficult life. ]

There are no curses here. There may not ever be any catastrophe. So, there is no reason for you to want anything other than to live selfishly.

[ This really isn't something Itadori can roll over and accept. Now that the world has been opened up to him that there are lives at stake and people died from "unnatural" means, he couldn't just sit idly by at home. He gets that Nanami isn't trying to deny him that and that he's trying to protect him in this world in his own way, but he really cannot take it.

There's a soft smile that crosses Itadori's face before he looks away from Nanami and stares in front of him, watching people pass by. He isn't mad, he isn't going to respond with aggression, but he isn't rolling over passively. ]

There's something here. A reason we came here. It might not be the curses back home, but if there's something I can do to help out, I'm not going to sit by.

[ His head tilts a bit to the side as his eyes idly follow a child walking with their parents and then looks down at his hands in thought. He might not have his cursed powers, but it didn't mean he was useless. Even before he was thrown into the world of curses and made his choice, he was willing to protect people when he knew there was danger. ]

If you think I can't handle it because of not having my cursed powers... I'll be fine. I can't just sit on the sidelines if something happens.

That is a convenient truth.

[ Nanami decides on saying, because there may not be any "reason" for why they were brought to this world. It may just be something as simple as "a mistake." He would have quite a few words to whomever is responsible, but it may be that "no one" is responsible. It may just be something that "happened." ]

Not everything is for a reason, Itadori-kun. Certainly, it is nice to think so, but sometimes an event happens that has no deeper meaning than one action lead to another.

[ A beat, as he decides to correct himself a little. ] I am not saying that there is no meaning in anything done, but there may simply be no meaning in our being here.

[ His eyes close as he shakes his head. ] No. You are a jujutsu sorcerer. Even without your cursed powers, this is what you are. [ And there is meaning in that alone. ] However, I am telling you that ... [ He sighs, once, before continuing. ] ... your existence here could be something else.

[ He clenches his hand into a fist. ] And no one will say anything about it. [ That is his promise in this world. ]

Nanami...

[ He doesn't use the nickname, but he doesn't throw on any honorific as he starts. It might be rude, but the idea of throwing anything on the end felt weird at this point, but he didn't want to make light of the situation with a casual nickname, either.

He inhales slowly as he mulls over the words Nanami is saying. It's... complicated. This entire situation of them being there. Maybe he's right and there's nothing that's going to happen and the hellish landscape they went through initially was nothing to worry about and things were general fine, but...

But there is the risk that it isn't always going to be okay. That there might be more to it and these gems were given to them for a reason. Something they'll either have to figure out themselves or they'll be told in time. There was no way he could just sit by if he knew. ]

I didn't accept the deal to gather more fingers to save myself. Ultimately, it's the same result at the end of the road, right? I chose what I chose because I wanted to make sure people didn't suffer from something that I could have prevented.

[ Even if Nanami knows these things, he needs to reiterate it. Make it clear. At the end of the day, it was always his choice. Sure, he didn't know what would happen when he ate that first finger, but if he had to decide to live a normal life or do the same thing? He would do exactly what he did any time. It brought him into a harsh and painful world, but it was better then being oblivious. ]

I wanted to pass it off as doing it as a promise for my grandfather, that he'd told me that I had to protect the weak. In the end, though, I was made to realize that I can't just rely on that and had to face why I wanted to do it myself.

[ He takes in a deep breath again and then looks at Nanami once again. ]

No one can force me into this choice, but I made that choice back home and I'd make the same choice here. To do whatever I can.

[ A soft sigh slips out as soon as he hears his name. He knew he would not like what Itadori would have to say afterward.

But he is determined to hear what is being said and to listen to it all without dismissing it entirely. He is willing to show that much consideration because Itadori is willing to do the same for him.

The words of children are easy to ignore if one is an adult; an adult can easily say that they are right and simply let that be the end of the matter. But that is trampling on something precious and fragile; it is trampling on something that once destroyed cannot be easily fixed.

Nanami thinks that the painful world that Itadori has come to experience is only just a small portion of what it is. There are truly disgusting and heinous evils that exist in their world; Itadori was forced to encounter one of them in the shape of Mahito. It would be nice to think that as soon as Mahito is gone that all evil like that is also gone. But that is not true.

There is no way of knowing if the same sort of evil exists where they are. He wants to judge it as it is versus what he knows. But because he does not know, he wants to prevent Itadori and Fushiguro from possibly experiencing it.

What Itadori says is fine; he can't say what is said is "wrong." Nanami is aware that he's trying to take away his autonomy; he understands what he is doing is not "right."

But if it is between possibly leaving those two to suffer or not, he will choose to have them come to despise him for his actions. We do not have the same support as we did back home. We do not have Gojo-san to ensure that if anything gets out of control, it will be handled. There is no knowing what will happen, and so... I am willing to hold onto those worries, those concerns, those responsibilities, so that they can just live peacefully.

Nothing might come, but at the same time, something might come. But only he should be thinking it. ]

I wonder if you would take a little time to think more on this subject. [ He grimaces as he continues: ] I know that you have taken some time to put your thoughts as of right now into words.

I understand your feelings, Itadori-kun. [ The desire to prevent suffering. ] However, I would like you to take some time to really think on this matter. I feel like Gojo-san and I [ Yes, he's willing to blame himself, too. ] did not allow you enough time before you made your choice.

You had to make it within the first few seconds of hearing it, and make your case as to why you are choosing it. No one gave you the time to think of it more. [ He clenches his jaw before he starts again. ] So ... will you take some time to think more on it?

I had to make the choice a couple of times.

[ It wasn't just one instance of him being forced to make a choice and not just life or death. He had the choice and he kept leaning toward the side of helping those who needed it.

Sure, this place may have no curses or anything even remotely close to them, but he wouldn't feel right with a decision of just sitting idly by and doing absolutely nothing. So it would bother him, no matter how much time he spent thinking about it.

But he didn't want to dismiss how Nanami felt about this, either. He wouldn't immediately combat him and he gives a bit of a shrug. ]

I'll think about it. Seriously. But don't expect my answer to change either, okay?

[ From that answer, he realizes that he isn't even taking the other side into consideration and frowns. He doesn't like it. If he wants to be treated with respect, he should expect to give that very respect back to Nanami. ]

I mean, it might sound like I'm not going to think about it, but I will. As long as you'll think about what I'm saying here, too?

If you say you will think on it, I'll believe that you will.

[ He adjusts his sunglasses on his face, pushing them up his nose with his index and middle finger. ]

I will think on what you are saying, too.

[ Nanami lets out a long sigh; it feels like it is enough to deflate his entire chest. It is not so much one of resignation but one that says he will not trample upon whatever Itadori decides.

In some ways, I may be delaying the inevitable. However, I also am willing to believe in the small percent chance that he will decide to "do nothing." He does not think it would be easy to accept for Itadori, for Fushiguro, to remove themselves from all trouble that may come to pass.

Indeed, he likens it to "an emptiness" that will befall them.

There is an empty feeling that comes from not having any responsibilities or need to fulfill anyone's expectations. It's a feeling of living without purpose. He's lived that way and believes that it is a little cruel to force that way of living on the two jujutsu sorcerers. However, he also thinks that "emptiness" can be filled with their own laughter, their own fond memories of "nothing" and "time" that they would not have been given back home. ]

That is all that I had to talk to you about today.

[ he's noticed that itadori has, so far, been a very pleasant roommate. it's different from just sharing a dorm back home, but at the same time, somewhat the same. but he's not sure how to feel about how... impersonal their home is right now. neither him or itadori have put anything in the common living area.

but he looks at itadori for a moment and just asks ]

How are you feeling?

[ at that question, he blinks once before pointing at himself. not that there is anyone else here, but... ]

Me? I feel fine.

[ he gives him a long look before speaking up. ]

Have you heard from Sukuna since we've gotten here?

[ he rubs the back of his neck and shrugs a bit ]

No, not really. It's been a bit strange. [ then he looks at his hand, squeezing it a bit and staring at it ] I still have my strength and everything before the curse came, but he's been silent. Or gone? I'm not sure.

[ If it means anything, he won't go looking for danger unless he finds out that it's going to threaten people that cannot defend themselves. That's at least... something, right? Maybe it wouldn't actually placate Nanami to know that, ah well. ]

Did you want to do anything? Maybe get lunch?

[ It might be strange to others to just switch over to that topic and offer, but it made sense to him. Both of them would think on it and it didn't feel like either of them were upset at the result of the conversation. Neither of them got exactly what they wanted from it, but neither of them got burned by it, either.

It was respectful. Civil. This is why Itadori appreciated Nanami so much. He never felt like his emotions were stomped on. Not once. Even if Nanami had strong opinions and he, himself, also had been a bit bullheaded, they didn't trample over one another. ]

[ I see.

Nanami realizes his own conceit. He realizes that he brought him out here to vent out his frustrations and thought it would be due to what he said. However, the way it came out was different than he thought. I suppose I wanted to give him this time to be able to yell about his own situation... to openly complain and scream about how unfair it was... however loud that he wanted.

He wanted to allow Itadori the chance to let out all the frustrations. But he admits yet again that is his own conceit. I knew better. I knew that he did not have any frustrations or anger on this matter. He has accepted these things well. And yet still...

Still, he wanted him to be given the chance to be angry without any judgement or chastisement.

It is only a moment -- he opens his mouth to say just that much. But he realizes that would be insulting. His head turns to look out toward the rest of the park instead. Yes, it would be insulting to everything he has done to get this far. Not all kind gestures are without harm, especially if they are done without thought. ]

Yes, let us go get lunch.

[ He breathes out a little sigh as he pushes himself up to stand. ]

I'd offer to buy, but somehow I feel like you already are itching to pay me back. [ It is a small concession; it is showing he remembers what Itadori says and will yield to it on occasion. ] Is that not so?

[ Admittedly, when he first arrived, he might have been upset with the situation of people being brought into such harsh and painful conditions and being forced to bond with the gems, but... it's been a while since then and he's reconciled with it. Everyone has been taking care of them.

Maybe it's the fact that he's faced his own mortality that he doesn't feel slighted about his own situation. Or maybe he just doesn't want to think about it too deep and waste time being angry. There were more unfair situations for him to get mad about and being here with these gems was not one of them. Nor was he about to get mad at Nanami for wanting to look out for his own well-being.

He grins when Nanami agrees to lunch and remembers their conversation from before. It makes him feel more on equal terms, even if he is still a child in Nanami's eyes. If his respect for Nanami could deepen any further, it sure did right then. Sometimes those small gestures mean the world in the scheme of things. ]

It was my offer, so it's my treat.

[ His tone is a bit cheeky and he nods in agreement. ]

Probably gone.

[ he looks down at his own hands before they move into the familiar dog shadow puppet ]

I can't summon anything.

[ It almost looks like he’s sleeping.

Or to be more accurate, he is actually sleeping.

Itadori Yuuji has been sleeping for far too long. It started with him commenting about how tired he had been, that he was going to go to sleep and that Megumi should wake him a little while later. Megumi nodded in response, reading a book that he picked out the other day. It was late enough that Megumi didn't bother waking him up when he asked. Some extra sleep wouldn't be bad for Yuuji, and he had looked tired from Megumi's point of view.

Megumi regrets that now.

Megumi didn't realize how much weight Yuuji had been carrying. He knew that there were things Yuuji were holding onto, things that he didn't tell either him nor Kugisaki. That was fine. They all have their secrets. He knows he should tell Yuuji about how him eating the fingers was what the trigger was for the uptick in curses. It's not right, hiding that from his friend. But he knows how Yuuji is, how he'll add the weight of that knowledge to everything. He carries enough. Right now though, Yuuji looks at peace.

He looks at peace and all Megumi can think about is how he just wants him to keep looking like this. Megumi takes a deep breath as he reaches out to gently take hold of Yuuji's hand in his. Maybe generating Manna will work to get him awake. It's… awkward, holding onto his hand like this. It would be awkward holding his hand in the first place, but there's nothing holding back. Megumi watches his face, hoping that there's some stirring.

There's nothing.

He grits his teeth and squeezes his hand. Still no response.

Megumi doesn't know how long he's spent sitting there, watching Yuuji, trying to see any sign that he's going to wake up.

(Why does this happen? Why does this happen to everyone he cares about--?)

His mind races through so much, trying to think about what he can do to help. Instead, a painful smile of Yuuji's flashes through his head. He shakes his head, trying to dislodge it. It persists, taunting him. He waits for a moment longer before standing up. He leans over Yuuji's body, hesitating before he leans down, laying an ear over Yuuji's chest.

The steady beat of his heart calms him, reassures him.

He stays like that. ]

[ hm, that makes this even more... strange ]

Do you think it'll be something permanent?

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happy birthday loser

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